all we ever knew

i once thought i knew what i had wanted in a relationship. i wanted someone who paid attention to me, who noticed small details about me, who danced in the living room, who actually got to know me.

it’s weird because i have a guy now who is willing to do that and i don’t know how i feel about that. his goal is to make sure that i am happy. and he does a great job at it but i feel like i’m doing him a disservice because i’m not at the point where i am ready to go outof my way to make him happy.

that sounds terrible but it’s honest and that’s what i always strive to be. i have tried to explain this to him and he said that he’s happy as long as i’m happy which scares me because i don’t want to be responsible for someone else’s happiness, knowing that i am likely to hurt them.

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