falling slowly

this kind of describes my life right now. not in a negative connotation but rather, a positive one. i am out, dating. i have met a lot of guys. obviously, not everyone has been someone i wanted to stay in touch with. but im falling slowly. that’s the best way to put it. there are people who i would possibly like to explore a more serious relationship with but i also know that right now, i’m not ready for something serious. i’m just meeting people. and that’s fine.

a lot of people (cough, my father) seem bothered that i am dating a lot of people but i also don’t feel like i should be trying anything serious. i met someone when i was 18 years old and ended up marrying him, thinking he was my forever but really he was my for-right-now and i want to make sure that my future is my forever. i can’t find that without looking and i can’t be sure if i don’t test the waters.

when i say i’m falling slowly, i mean that i’m falling slowly for a serious relationship. i know that ultimately, i will want one but as i said, i know i’m not at that point yet so i’m slowly approaching it. it’s falling slowly, not at -9.8 m/s^2. it’s hard to fight gravity but it’s important that i do because if you let gravity pull you, eventually you’ll crash if you haven’t grabbed the right parachute.


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