stubborn love

mladshaya sestra,

i know he seems fantastic. he seems like a dream to you. but i see you taking a similar path. yes, you’re right, he could be totally different but i can tell you, 18 year old you doesn’t really know what she wants. you might feel like she does but she doesn’t.

you’ve dated one other person. and both were pretty similar. i know part of your fear, that you won’t find anyone else but you know what? you will. trust me. you will find guys that will break your heart, you will find ones that make you feel like you’ve just drank too much, you will then find the one who makes you feel like you.

i’ve watched a lot of your friends go through the same thing. you are young, you have so much potential. don’t tie yourself down right away. people these days think that they MUST have a partner. but you don’t. it’s ok if you are single for a while. i’m doing this whole dating thing but i can tell you a few things about it.

  1. i have no desire to be in a serious relationship at this moment because i’m perfecting me and until i know me, i can’t expect someone else to know and love me.
  2. i don’t know what i want. i’m finding that out. i thought i wanted someone who was seemingly together but then i found that that person is a fallacy. no one has it all together and if they make you think they do, they’re lying to two people. i’m not pushing away possibilities but i’m also not settling. i’ll know when it’s right.
  3. you owe this to yourself. marriage, your future, it’s a big thing. in the end, it’s you that makes you happy. you can’t rely on anyone else for your happiness.
  4. freedom is seen as a thing to be feared. singledom is seen as the bane of existence. but its not. explore the world on your own. find yourself.

so much love forever and ever,

-k

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