the night we first met ii

i think i’ve used this title before but damn, if this song didn’t speak to me. every time i think i’m over you, i remember that first date. the excitement. the buzz i felt when we were close. the kisses. the way you kissed me at the end of the night and disappeared, nearly running…

it’s been a while

ok, maybe not the best song but life gets in the way. a lot things have happened and there’s just been a lot to take in.   first, i’m in a weird place. i guess you could say i’m dating someone but there are a lot of things i’m not a fan of with him….

bittersweet symphony

it’s been almost ten months since i kicked him out. the change has been amazing. the heartaches have been hard. thankfully they haven’t been heartaches from him. the life has been amazing. but i still get really upset. mostly with myself. mostly for trusting people more than i should. most specifically with my heart.  

box of stones

ochko drug, you left me. you left me here and that’s ok. what’s not ok is that you left me here and you have left me in silence. the first week, you called me every other day. the second week, you called me  twice. the third, once. now, there are 12 unanswered messaged in our…

all we ever knew

i once thought i knew what i had wanted in a relationship. i wanted someone who paid attention to me, who noticed small details about me, who danced in the living room, who actually got to know me. it’s weird because i have a guy now who is willing to do that and i don’t…

all the faces

to my jim,   all the faces by creed bratton makes me think of you. it’s the song he wrote for the finale of the office. it just gives me sweet feels about you. “and when my mind is absorbed on my private little and i’m walking blind through a sea of unknown men and…

your love is my drug

kesha said it and i’ve mentioned it. your love is my drug. not just your love but your brain, your personality, you and i hate it because i can’t stop. you probably aren’t even trying to be my drug but i also think, given human nature, who doesn’t like having someone who think they’re tops?…

snails

art camp. first, i feel really old. most of the staff is in their early to mid-twenties and here i am, thirty years old. i hate it because i don’t always feel like i’m thirty. i feel like i’m still in my twenties and i’m sure some of that is because i am back at…

falling slowly

this kind of describes my life right now. not in a negative connotation but rather, a positive one. i am out, dating. i have met a lot of guys. obviously, not everyone has been someone i wanted to stay in touch with. but im falling slowly. that’s the best way to put it. there are…

boys lie

rebenok,   you are hilarious. i say that tongue in cheek. you’re pitiful. you walked into my house the other night because you felt you had a right. you have no rights in my life. you forfeited those rights the first time you met her. the first time you went to her instead of me….

never gonna get used to you

ochko drug, you’re leaving in a few days for la and i’m genuinely sad. not so much because you’re leaving but because you’re leaving and we haven’t talked in almost a week. again. i’d love to know what you are thinking. you are there the minute i need you but if i’m not in distress,…

it just takes some time

vinnyy drug, idk where to start. there’s a lot. when i first told you what happened, you were there. right next to me. then something happened. i don’t know what to think. i know i withdrew but it came after you made me feel like i somehow didn’t deserve to move forward. that’s how i…